Insatiable

It was just before daybreak and Tonii stood alone in the kitchen. It was the first time in as long as she could remember that she cooked breakfast only for herself.

The oatmeal simmered in the pan and she stirred without thinking. She was dressed lightly, her barely-transparent nightgown - and nothing else - clinging to her figure and cutting off around the mid-thigh. Normally at this hour, she'd be up and fully clothed, already stressed with managing the start of her three children's days. But, for the next two months, their father could take responsibility for that.

He could figure it out, or she could expect texts begging her to mediate between their bickering children. For now, the nightgown was enough; it even made her feel sexy, and she'd spent far too long not feeling that way. The soft fabric clung to her skin, reminding her how it felt to not be neglected.

It had been almost two whole years since she and her ex-husband had split apart. The divorce took a bit longer, the process lingering and drawing itself out to be almost as exhausting as their marriage itself. That was over. Now the forty-three year old had lonely mornings stirring her own pan of oats to enjoy.

She sighed. The warm steam wafted towards her face.

The spoon slowed as the oats thickened. Oatmeal was her comfort food. It reminded her of simpler times. The nutty aroma rising from the pan was just enough to make her breathe a little more deeply. Tonii wasn't a woman who demanded much. Not from life. Not of her experiences, or even of her boring marriage. She filled a bowl with the steaming porridge and added a few prunes from the container she usually kept hidden at the back of the fridge. A touch of sweet fruit was always enough to brighten her morning.

And perhaps that was why Darren, her ex-husband, had grown so disinterested in her. She wasn't unsuccessful. Her small business kept her busy and engaged. She had for the last two decades maintained her routine of jogging several times a week. If there were any flaws in her physique, whether due to age or the fact that she'd had three children, they didn't bother her; she couldn't change them anyway. Sometimes, she wished Darren was a bit of an asshole. A bit easier to hate. Other than their twice-weekly lovemaking sessions, there was hardly any sort of connection within the latter half of their marriage, however. At some point, it seemed as if he had simply stopped caring.

That only made things worse. Without him to blame for it all, Tonii was left to stew in her own thoughts. About all the things she might have done differently, the mistakes she might have repeated.

She stole a few more prunes from the plastic container on the counter and tossed them into the bowl. They weren't enough to stop her from dwelling, but the naughty indulgence did lift her spirits.

The next spoonful bit back. "Ow!" she cried. "Seedless, indeed!"****Tonii desperately wanted to be on time. She had been on only a handful of dates since she had separated. Every single time, she managed to be late. To avoid that, she had settled on a simple outfit. Jeans and a t-shirt with her jacket tied at the waist and a pair of dark, faux-leather boots instead of her fancier shoes. Though the weather had decided that for her. It was the sort of mid-afternoon drizzle and cold weather that Tonii hated.

She'd have preferred to stay home with a cup of tea but at her best friend's suggestion, Tonii started dating again. Nothing too serious, Elise had assured her. A bit of fun to make up for lost time.

Naturally, after two decades of marriage, Tonii plunged into the world of dating apps. That had been eye-opening. An aging musician for her last date, who seemed more interested in selling his dreams of success than himself; a businessman she hoped to form a connection with, yet he was half-asleep before his meal was finished. Others that were barely worth remembering. Tonii felt as though she put in the effort but got little out of these experiences. Not to mention the sex. She never thought she'd miss Darren's impersonal lovemaking.

She missed something, though. Missed it enough that she had to try again.

A mid-afternoon coffee date seemed innocent enough. Simple. She couldn't possibly be disappointed by the time her drink grew cold. Especially not in this weather. As she entered the café, the aroma of freshly-ground beans hit her, instantly overpowering her senses. She hated it.

It took only a single glance around the establishment to realize her date hadn't yet arrived. Tonii considered that a small victory. She took a seat, choosing not to order until he showed up. Thankfully, she didn't have to wait long. Tonii didn't think she could handle even the thought of being stood up.

She took notice as soon as he entered. He seemed underdressed, considering the chill in the air. Inside the café was significantly warmer but she couldn't imagine walking around in nothing but a button-up shirt and a pair of jeans. He was tall. Broad shoulders with a wide chest. Features Tonii liked enough to forgive his apparent lack of fashion sense. "Been waiting long?" he asked. "I apologize if you have." He grabbed the backrest of his chair and Tonii allowed her gaze to drift as he sat down.She cleared her throat. "No, I'd only just arrived myself.""Ah," he looked around. "We should order then." His hand raised as he turned to the counter, but then he quickly turned to her once more. "Actually, I'm not exactly sure how things work around here."Tonii detected strange hint in his tone. It was as though his speech was just a bit too meticulously pronounced. There was a hint of accent in his voice. One he seemed to be trying his best to hide. That, along with his vague features, made his origin difficult to place.

"How do things work where you're from?"

"Very noisily," he chuckled. "Oh, there's a waitress!" he caught the attention of uniformed young woman standing near the counter and, soon after, the two had ordered. "That's out of the way," he said, finally focusing his attention on her. "Tonii, yes?" he gestured to himself. "Rider."

"Naturally," Tonii said. "A bit out of your element, aren't you?"

He scoffed. "I try to be. Keeps life interesting."

She studied the man closely. She already knew his name. His age, too. About ten years her junior, he would easily be the youngest she had dated. She hadn't entertained a man in his thirties since...Darren was in his thirties. In fact, she was just as curious as to why he was interested in an older woman, himself."You get bored easily?" she teased, hinting at his potential motivations. He didn't seem the playboy type. In fact, he came across as quite the opposite. He wasn't sharply dressed, nor did he project the sort of intimidating aura of someone who might have seen her as another conquest.

"Bored?" he tilted his head. His brow furrowed for just a moment. "Never," he said. "Only boring people get bored."

"Is that true?" she asked.

Once again, his eyebrows moved towards each other for just a moment. "I don't know," he admitted. "But I heard someone say it about fifteen years ago, and it stuck with me."

"Well, I can't say I'm particularly interesting myself. If you were hoping for excitement this evening..."

"You don't have to tell me that," he said as he recalled her order. "Plain black coffee. That's as far from exciting as it gets."

"Well," she scoffed playfully. "Sorry for boring you, Mister Rider. Interesting name."

"You don't have to apologize. I'm not going to hold it against you. You already feel the need to punish yourself as it stands."

The waitress returned with their orders: plain black coffee for Tonii and for her date, a tall thing with far too much whipped cream and caramel.

"So, Miss Tonii," -- his tone hovering between mockery and tease -- "what do you do? I don't imagine that meeting up with strangers for coffee is how you spend every afternoon."

"You mean for work?" she clarified.He nodded, now too occupied with the straw between his lips to answer with words.

"I run my own business." She waved her hand. "It's...not that impressive. I bake. Make chocolates. Overdesigned, with little mean messages on them instead of the usual platitudes."

"Oh?" he raised an eyebrow. "Must have one hell of a sweet tooth," he said, "if you made cake and chocolate your entire thing."

Tonii chuckled. "Actually, no," she replied. "Not really. I don't eat the stuff I make. It's far too sweet."

"Ah, okay. That makes sense."

"It does?"

"Well, no," he clarified. "What you just said makes no sense but," he gestured to her drink, "the plain coffee makes sense now. A chocolatier who doesn't have a sweet tooth makes no sense at all."

"Okay," she laughed. "Asshole."

Tonii sipped her coffee as Rider's smile painted his satisfaction with the exchange. His deep dimples caught her eye and her gaze lingered a moment. Feeling her own cheeks grow warm, she glanced away.

"And yourself?" she asked, quickly shifting her focus back to conversation.

"Oh," Rider shook his head. "It's not too interesting. Back home, my grandfather owned some pieces of land. They were only worth living on, until the miracle of urban development made them much more valuable."

"So he sold the land?"

"No, he died." Rider said matter-of-factly. The manner in which he spoke almost made Tonii choke on her drink. "But now I own the land and instead of selling, I just had the people who wanted the land pay me to use it. They pay quite a lot."

Tonii swallowed another mouthful of coffee, managing to redeem herself after almost spilling on her previous attempt. "You're an odd man, Mister Rider," she said finally.

"Yes," he admitted. Almost too easily. "But why do you say that?"

She chewed her lower lip for a moment. "Well, if I'm being honest, it's either you have no idea how to seduce a woman or you don't care to. It's confusing."Rider sipped his drink. His brown eyes focused on Tonii as his brow, once again, furrowed slightly. He slouched. "Well, sort of. I don't really have an interest in seducing you, no."Tonii wasn't sure what to say. She had even less of an idea about what Rider's words meant for their exchange. Should she be offended? Perhaps she had said or done something wrong. Was she so out of touch that she had misread the situation? "Sorry," she said. "I'm bad at this sort of thing."

His response came quickly. "I am, too. Don't worry about it."

"So, uh," she felt foolish for asking. "Any reason why? You're not interested, I mean..."

"I didn't say I wasn't interested."

Tonii was baffled, even more than before. "But you said -"

"I said wasn't interested in seducing you," he clarified, "because I think whether you sleep with me or not is entirely up to you. I don't really want to take that into my own hands. Especially since I'm so bad at it."

"I see," she said simply.

"So, Miss Tonii," Rider asked, "have you decided yet whether you're going to sleep with me?"

****

Tonii moaned softly. Her fingers clutched Rider's shirt as his lips claimed hers for the second time. Her breathing grew labored, though they had only just begun. Yet, as she touched his chest, she could feel how his heart raced. It throbbed within his chest. His rhythm consumed her. Hypnotized her. Stole away her sense of self.

"Slow down," Rider murmured.

His words took Tonii out of her daze. "Mmm?" The kiss had broken far sooner than she had hoped. "What's wrong?"

He laughed. "You're going to tear my--"

Rider held her wrist, then moved his much larger hand over her knuckles. "You're going to make the buttons pop off if you keep pulling like that."

Tonii could feel the heat from earlier rising in her cheeks once more. She could only hope that her arousal would disguise it. "Sorry," she sputtered. "Got a little too excited."

The pair sat on Rider's sofa. His apartment was quite close to the café and, by extension, not far from where Tonii lived at all. She had curled herself against his chest and, as he mentioned it, she released his clothing.

"It's alright." He cleared his throat as he shifted. His hand moved to her face. Instinctively, Tonii shifted her gaze until she felt his finger curl beneath her chin. "Kiss me," he said. His voice was gentle but there was a hint of entitlement that she couldn't ignore.

She reached towards him. Her lips hovered less than an inch from his before he spoke again. "Ah," he said slyly. "Take your time."

"You're teasing me," she whined.

He closed the remaining distance and, for the third time, they kissed. This time it was less intense than previous and lasted only a moment. "I've been known to do that." His hand swept into her hair and he gently pulled her lips against his. Once more, she gripped his shirt as Rider took the opportunity to explore her body.Without her jacket, Tonii's slender figure was revealed. As Rider's touch moved from her nape to her shoulders, the hairs on her arms responded by standing on end. She shifted her weight, placing more upon his chest as they transitioned to half-laying. Against Rider's broad chest, she felt lighter than she had ever been. "You didn't wear a bra today."

She hesitated a moment. "You didn't only now notice that." She could tell that her words had caught him off-guard by his pause. Rare for him not to immediately quip at her.

He huffed. "No, you're right. I did notice your very-erect nipples the moment your jacket came off."

"It's cold!" She sat up, half-perched over his crotch. Rider's hands moved to her waist as his gaze shifted. She resisted the urge to hide her breasts. The thin fabric barely hid them. The fact that her bosom was clearly under his scrutiny -- the lost perkiness of her youth and her darkened nipples. She waited for him to say something."You have a tattoo." His hand lifted the side of her shirt where, upon her hip, a long-faded imprint remained on her pale skin. "What does that say?"

Now Tonii blushed in earnest. "It's," she sputtered, "nothing. It's silly. Something foolish."

"Embarrassing?"

"I said 'foolish'!" she playfully swatted his hand away.

"Okay, fine!" Rider surrendered. "You have a foolish tattoo." His hands returned to her hips and he squeezed, as though in retaliation for her light smack.

Her teeth sank into her lower lip as he applied gentle pressure to her waist. She was more than a little excited, a slight shift backwards was all it would take to figure out if he felt the same way.

"Just so you know," she hoped to distract him with conversation, "I usually have a lot more time to prepare mentally for men seeing the tattoo. I don't make a habit of getting this physical on a first date."

"Of course," Rider said, "of course."

Her eyes narrowed. "You don't believe me!"

"I do!" His sly smirk once again leaving his words muddied by tease and mockery in much the same way as earlier in the café. "I do-- because," with his hands on her hips, he shifted her weight backwards, "if you were a more experienced 'lady', you'd already know this is where you're supposed to sit."

She shivered, and not at all because of the chill in the air.

"Well," Rider said, "it seems as though you've gotten yourself into a bit of a situation, Miss Tonii. You don't do this sort of thing but you're certainly doing that sort of thing."

"I don't like what you're implying," she snapped.

"I'm just wondering if you make a habit of these sort of contradictions."

She paused, then shifted her weight with her hips swaying from side to side. "Don't act like you're not enjoying this."

"What do you know about what I enjoy?" His raised eyebrow posed a challenge, almost snaring her in his trap.

"I don't know -- I don't need to." Slowly, she gyrated her hips. "A bit hard for you to keep your enjoyment secret, Mister Rider. I don't need to know you that well to figure that out."

"Well," he sighed. "Seems you're not hopeless after all." His hands shifted from her waist and explored further as his touch slipped backwards. His grip sank into the back of her jeans and he squeezed tight. "I suppose there's no point in being subtle."

She gasped, yet didn't stop him. He was hardly the first man to show appreciation for her backside. She moved, keeping rhythm with the intensity of his touch. For a short moment, they were in sync. Then, before she knew it, she was gasping for air as his fingers dug into her.

"Now aren't you in a situation," Rider teased, "Miss Tonii. What are you going to do about this situation that you don't regularly find yourself in?"

"F-fuck," she hissed. She was all out of tricks. This one, 'It's Darren's birthday so I'll get on top tonight', was her trump card. "I don't know-- can't you just...take over?"

"No," he said simply. "Well, I could. I'm not going to. You're a grown woman. Get yourself out of this mess."

She folded her arms in defiance, whining. "Come on, Rider. Please?"

He laughed.

"I want it!"

"Want what?"

She lowered her voice to almost a whisper. "To do it."

"No. You want me to," he lowered his own voice, "do it." He laughed again.

"Ugh," she leaned against his chest, clutching his clothing for comfort as she realized she never had to say it outright. She never had to really do anything to get sex in the first place. That things would escalate was a given. "God, you're insufferable!"

Despite denying her, Rider seemed more than happy to keep groping her backside. She didn't stop him, though she felt she ought to. "You know," he teased, "you're eleven years older than I am? You should not be this coy."

"Ten," she scoffed. "Ten! And what I should do is stop you from putting your hands where they don't belong, little boy!"

"I haven't been little in a long, long time," he said, proving his point by sitting upright. Luckily, Tonii was still clutching his shirt or she would have fallen over, assisted by those hands which remained cupping her backside.

Still, it seemed as though she had gotten one over on him as Rider once again engaged her in kisses. She smirked against his mouth as her arms draped over his shoulders.

"You smug bitch," he muttered. A loud smack filled the air as he raised his hand and asserted himself by returning it to her backside.

She gasped, involuntarily pulling him into a tight embrace. "Fuck," she muttered under her breath as he used those fingers to grip her backside through the jeans.

"Oh?" he seemed pleased. "You like that, do you?"

God, if he put his hands between her legs right now, she'd melt away until there was nothing left. "Shut up, you ass!" The words fell from her mouth in-between gasps as he clutched her.

He shook his head. "I asked whether you liked it, Tonii." His words seemed more insistent. Accusatory. It made Tonii feel very small, shrinking her further even as she straddled him. She could only squirm in response.

"Mmm." She felt his voice rumble in his chest. "You don't want to talk? I guess I'll have to figure it out, myself." He shifted, turning Tonii still settled in his lap until he could lean against the backrest more comfortably. "Have you ever been spanked, Tonii?"

"You just did," she murmured, "ass."

"No." He kissed her forehead. "What I did was touch you. What I'm asking is whether you've been put over a man's knee before. And spanked for its own sake. Not as a result of my indulgence." He smacked her backside again.

"Then no," defiantly huffing, "a--"

"Don't say it."

She grew mum for a moment.

"And good," Rider continued.

"I'm not going to let you spank me! As a matter of fact," she leaned backward, yet still enjoyed his embrace. "I should be the one putting you over my knee!"

He looked at her. Gaze incredulous.

"Sorry." She didn't know what she was thinking.

"Do you want me to spank you?" he asked outright.

"No," Tonii said, flustered. "I'm not a child!"