Mako 01

Mako 01

I plead innocent, so if you get a look at me or you know, lurk around my Chang page and you find yourself shaking your head while thinking to yourself that I don't fit as a "Mako", well, you're right, but when you go on a paid fishing expedition as a youngster with your dad and uncle and they accidently snag a Mako shark and then they take of photo of the shark, which includes you as a youngster who is scared stiff and then the adults pass that photo around to literally everyone in the neighborhood, well, some have said my facial expression of fright was priceless. I say who said the human face should even make such expressions, huh? And I was on a deep-sea fishing boat, so my swim trunks were wet from the ocean spray and let's not say anything else about all that. Also, it was a damn raging and pissed off shark, so I should get a pass.

Or my friends have called me Mako for several years because I'm just that fierce and intimidating!

[Pause for laughter]

Anyways, I've never been fish hooked, but I do have a side job that involves blue water. I mean, it's the blue water of the Blue Fountain and all, but I've taken it upon myself to carry a small novelty bucket that I put coins into just in case anyone who hangs out at the Blue Fountain doesn't have coin on them. It's an old tradition that everyone who goes to the Blue Fountain, must toss a coin into the Blue Fountain or forever risk misfortune and bad luck, so I've taken it upon myself to be there for the people.

It also keeps me from being shunned. Or the fountain people don't shun me because I'm a fierce shark and shunning me will most certainly lead to my raging rath.

[Pause for more laughter]

Anyways, it's only a rumor that my little novelty bucket of coins doubles as my hand bag and my lip gloss just falls into it and it's definitely only a rumor that I have strings glued to the top layer of coins to reel them back in after the fountain people pay their homage.

And I actually like the rumor about me that secretly states that I'm becoming more and more outgoing and comfortable around people who actually wear the correct gender of clothing, although I'm getting tired of waiting for the rumor to be hyper extended to include that I might be a "good catch", but it does make me smirk off to the side when I hear the whisperings about how a few of the Blue Fountain people would like to hyper extent their hook, um, into me, with me, on me or all of the above.

But side smirking and handing out tossing coins is all I do. Or I'm afraid to get involved with someone because I would go into a frenzy and hurt someone's fishing pole.

[Pause for even more laughter]

Or because I'd be a tough catch in a bed with the way I can flip flop my slender shark body and tiny tail around.

[Okay, we can see that. Also, can we see that?]

Ahh, so hey there, I'm Mako and I hang out at the Blue Fountain on the weekends and I have your back when you or even you and your girlfriend needs a coin to toss into the fountain. I also recently paid my own homage to Peter because he liked my Trap friend, See Me, and my friend See Me liked him back.

"Mako, most fountain people bring bottles in brown paper bags down to the fountain, but your little brown paper bag seems to be neatly folded, so? Also, a coin please."

[Shuffles hand bag novelty bucket and hands off the neatly folded brown paper bag]

[Coin string twang]

"Oh, what's this then, Mako?"

"Six tacos, Peter. I couldn't help but to peek on you and See Me liking each other last night. Well, it seemed that See Me was doing most of the liking, but it was informative and things sounded rather soothing, so, take the six tacos and shut your mouth with them, I guess, so?"

[Coin toss, skip, splash, crunch, munch, crunch, munch]

"Any embarrassment to talk about then, Mako?"

"Nope. But I don't want you to think of me as voyeur either since you caught me peeking, Peter."

[Crunch, much, crunch, munch]

"Alright, well Mako, it sounds to me like you have never "soothed" with Tyler then and I find that a little surprising. Also, is See Me coming back around tonight?"

[Munch, crunch, munch, crunch]

"Tyler and I had a falling out, Peter. And I'm not exactly sure what a modern "daddy" is, but I think you are his "daddy" now. At least on Friday nights, so."

[Munch, crunch, munch, crunch]

"I'm listening, Mako."

"Oh, it turns out that Tyler just wanted to parade me around his gamer buddies because the gamers in the southeast neighborhood do each other afterwards and neither of them even bother dressing up as a girl and then the same with the gamers in the northwest neighborhood, who form some type of circle on the floor afterwards and yet still, none of them even dress up as a girl and don't even get me started on those gamers from the east-by-east neighborhood who just go at it because their gaming console has been in the shop over a month and yet, not one of them dress up a girl, so Tyler just wanted to parade his "girl" around. And have sex with me, so."

[Munch, crunch, munch, crunch]

"Yeah, but Mako, the rumors about the video nerds from the central neighborhood, right?"

"Peter, that's all staged as "getting back at the parent's" memes, that's all. Or is that what guys like and want then, hmm?"

"Watch it, Mako! I'm a side fag for only certain people, like See Me and it's all behind closed doors and private, that's all, so. Or in a back seat like last night with See Me with one peeper."

Huh, so a peeper sounds about the same as a voyeur then, folks, so my official response is, well, it was just once, but it was informative and things sounded very soothing and I only voice recorded things, so.

"Oh, I don't mean to break this conversation up, but two coins, please, Mako."

Huh, so a slightly side fag wipes his mouth and splits when normal people interrupt the conversation then, huh?

[Coin bucket shuffles]

"Two tossing coins, Marla. One for you and one for the boyfriend, who doesn't try to parade you around, so."

"And here's a tip back, Mako, you might do well to walk around with your little bucket offering tossing coins and then, I don't know, take a leaning break against the water valve pipe thingy, just saying. Well, I'm also saying that Mako sharks are known to take a bite when food is right there, but they are your teeth, so. Also, I'm talking about Danny just in case there is any fag mix up, I mean, mingling mix up."

Also, LOL, you could bounce a coin off of Marla's backside. And it might make it to the ocean. Which is two hours away. Just saying. Well, I'm also saying that Marla is very pleased and proud with her built-in coin bouncing silhouette. Not that's why I carry extra coins in my hand bag, I mean, novelty bucket.

And huh, the water valve pipe thingy was the perfect height for bracing yourself in a leaning position, so huh.

"Tyler's an idiot."

[Simulates spitting on the ground because, well, spitting, ewe]

"Coin, Danny?"

[Shuffles into coin bucket and proves non fag macho status with a sidearm coin spinning slider fastball toss towards the fountain from the water valve distance. Spinning slider sidearm fastball coin ricochets off of the Blue Fountain Dolphin water sprout thingy and smacks Danny right back in the side of head as if to say own it, fag]

"Ouch! WTF!"

Well, the coin master is responsible for the coins that are above the water line, so. And he carries a small first aid kit in his novelty bucket hand bag for coin emergencies.

"Well, Danny boy, I'd like to say that it was just a glancing blow, but I'd have to research what a glancing blow is first, so."

"Oh, huh, I expected your touch to be more, um, scaley, Mako, but a direct blow would leave a mark and a glancing blow only requires a little soothing, so."

"Oh, I have been informed about soothing then, Danny. Also, it was a glancing blow then, so."

[Desperately searching the difference between "soothing" and "glancing blow" with both results coming back as a soothing sounding blow job]

"Woo, oh, ooh, woo, I'm getting weak in the knees then, Mako, woo."

[No need to research that]

[Weep]

"SUV is same as ambulance."

[Weep]

"Shut it, Marla."

I mean, she wasn't exactly wrong or anything. Also, huh, the rear seat of a decent SUV is pretty roomy, which is why my Trap friend, See Me, had so much room to maneuver around last night while soothing Peter then, so huh. Which I only peeked at and voice recorded because it was so dark out.

"So, Mako?"

"Oh, I'm waiting for you to have second thoughts, Danny. I'm also waiting for my nerves to sooth, so."

Huh, that time you didn't have to worry about who made the first move then, right?

[Mwah, ummah, smack]

"Oh, whew, my bucket of coins, Danny, I left them on the fountain ring and all, so?"

[Mwah, ummah, smack]

"Mako's are always hungry, Mako, so?"

[Mwah, ummah, smack]

So, guys keep fishing around until they land upon the right pickup line then, hmm?

"And I agree that you're a better catch than people give you credit for, Mako."

So, guys just keep talking then and don't know when to shut it?

"Behind closed doors, of course."

But at least Danny said something almost nice about what a good catch I might be, although I might not make the weight limit to be a keeper.

[Weep]

"Retract shark teeth, Mako."

And apparently, there is no such thing as privacy behind closed doors, even the closed doors of a SUV that had become a make shift ambulance for the soothing of Danny's ricochet glancing blow from one of my tossing coins. But Marla's texts were informative, so.

"Aha, aha, oh, oh, ooh, that's so slick, Mako, and Tyler is so stupid, ooh, aha, aha, oh."

[Listens to soothing recording made the night before from See Me and Peter via blue tooth ear piece and tries to duplicate soothing sounds and actions]

"Slurp, slurp, slurp, ga, ga, ga, ow, ow, slip, slurp, slurp, goop, goop, ow, ugh."

"OMG, OMG, that's so, OMG, ooh, eh, eh, eh, ooh, oh, ooh, teeth, Mako, ooh, oh, ug, ug."

[Huh, Danny and Peter respond in exactly the same way then. Like it's a guy thing, so huh]

"Oh, oh, Mako, I'm your "daddy" for the night, oh, yeah, yeah, tight, that's tight, ooh, oh."

[Mako not only retracts teeth, but retracts his earlier statement of not understanding what a "daddy" and still, huh, Danny and Peter respond exactly the same]

"Oh, oh, oh, it's over, it's soon, it's over, it's soon, ooh, Mako, Mako, Mako, OMG, OMG, ahh, ooh."

[So, Mako has skills or guys could care less just as long as the shark teeth are retracted then?]

"Oh boy, oh boy, ooh, oh boy, oh boy, aha, aha, ugh, ugh ooh, ooh, ahh, ahh, ooh, oh, aha, oh."

[Alright, it's a guy thing with the soothing sounds of sex]

"Mako shark's swallow, Mako! Mako shark's swallow, Mako!"

Well, that part was true. I mean, well, whatever. I already stated above "ewe" with the spitting, so.

[Taps phone recorder off]

And after that encounter, well, my story is that we didn't kiss anymore because he feared that his own taste might linger in my mouth. I mean, my teeth are not shark teeth by any stretch of the imagination. Or it's a fag on the side guy to blow and open the rear door of the SUV. As if to say, let's not spread this around even though that was amazing and we should do it on the side again real soon and you know, keep things to ourself. Or something like that.

But on the high note, huh, not only was my novelty bucket of tossing coins still on the fountain ring, huh, it had a bunch of paper bills in as if to say, um, good job???? Or maybe about time????

End Mako 01