All Comments on 'Bowled Over By Sis Ch. 02'

you use too many exclamation points. makes it seem like all your characters are yelling all the time and it gets really annoying to read.

another great story from the master.thank you and looking forward to next chapter also to more great stories from you.

Good story ,hope you are not going to the orgy.it seem like sister has fucked more then one guy,would like to do it with brother.l like love storys,if you loved your sister would you like to see her fuck some guy? I know some guys get off on it,not me.i will give you 5* just to help you if you go to the orgy ,but hope you don't!!!

Please keep this Hot series going. Plenty plot and sex to go. The sex between Jen and Jason was so hot. Thanks, you nailed the story

please get them out of the league soon so they dont get into a sharing scene that would ruin the whole story. it would also be too soon for them to share partners since they just got together and wouldnt be ready to maybe lose the love they are developing.

Wow, you think exclamation marks mean screaming? And here I thought that was SHOWN BY ALL CAPS!!! (Yeah, I know I tend to over do that and am trying to curtail it.)

To me, exclamation marks indicate surprise, shock, awe, extreme appreciation and several other things but not screaming. But hey, I guess now I have TWO things to cut back on!!!!

Thanks for the comment as it helps me become a better writer.

dezurtdawg

I am really enjoying this story. but feel that you will need more than one more Chapter to tell the whole story. You can surely wrote a few more chapter to cover the rest of the weeks till the league is done and then take it from there to more fun and games......

You must finish this here because its where you started and its best to finish where you start

As long as Jenny isn't shared, Or Heather becoming a problem, I'm sure you'll be writing a winner.

Personally, I felt you went to fast with this chapter. What caught me when I read your first chapter was the originality of your plot...the Couples Bowling League. This allowed for a slow development that spanned several weeks and allowed for you to tease your audience. That hooked me and made me want to read more. Chapter Two was a total brother/sister fuck story that was no different than anything else on this site or any other. While I appreciate the fact that Jenny had been wanting this to happen from the start, it still felt abrupt. And now you're saying you're about to finish it off in the next chapter. That's disappointing. To me it appears that you've lost interest in what could have been an exceptional series and have decided to put an end to it. You ask if you should continue. Why bother? They've fucked...end of story unless you've got something that isn't more of the same old stuff.

Cant wait to read more. Love to read your work more than anybody elses

you totally rushed this chapter AS USUAL. slow down give better details and stay away from group sex that always ruins a story and the relationship. you need to tell if the parents or their friends find out they are together. does she get pregnant? no mention of birth control.

Why doesn't it deserve many Cum IN FACE AND TITS ? what a damage! But hope that this will be done!! lol

Wow I am incredibly disappointed with this direction. You've either rushed a smut driven chapter in an attempt to satisfy those who must wait, or took a horribly disappointing direction.

She says she loves him. Why? For how long? What about the taboo and family/friends?

You had so much potential for a great story, exploring themes and ideas about incestuous relationships.

Instead, you might as well remove the introduction to chapter 1 about their past relationships, it's filler that's not been touched upon or even hinted at being continued, and focus on the smut of the bowling league. I'm rating this 1 star because it failed to take the story in any substantial direction and failed to be arousing.

...that dezurtdawg has not posted more is - he has been very ill AND he has bills to pay,job to keep happy and all the rest that Life chucks at you when you least expect it.

...so just ease off a bit - give him a break & STFU...

When his recovery is complete and Life is on a more even keel - let's hope that he continues to write...

My crystal ball: he is going to use his ahMAZING cock to cuckold every single guy at the bowling alley (on the teams) whilst the cuckolds all gaze worshipfully on the action. Dawg is going to write that the sluts love their menz like SO MUCH, srsly. Though they ADORE name doesn't matter, cock size does (Jason)'s cock so VERY much more than their cuckold's average members. And Jenny will fuck him BEST of ALL, thereby establishing her rights and ownership and love of his cock....and him of course....she'd still love 'im if he lost his cock in an accident...right? LOL. Let's wait and see, friends! I was intrigued by the premise, bro and sis falling in love while in a bowling league...this is not that. This is bowling league as harem for big cocked ubermensch, done sub par. Dezurtdawg, I know you can do better than this. You may not feel like doing better than this right now, may be in the mood for writing slush pile quality bs, but for as long as I am able, I will voice my thoughts when I feel you aren't reaching the standard of quality you are capable of. And I'll be honest about disliking story elements too. This has both, unfortunately. Buck up, and spend the sweat, or let those of us who come to you for the quality we know you can produce know that you aren't going to right now. We'll come back when you get serious. Just speak up about it. Otherwise, it's just painful slogging through this kind of stuff every time you update. Relief I understood. A continuation has to share the spirit of the original. This, though? For love of family? C'mon. I admit I never would've liked for love of family, but wasting good story concepts like this on twaddle just isn't fair to your capabilities. Rant over. Thanks for listening. If you are sick, I hope you get better right quick. ;) Godspeed.

I hope that dezurtdawg gets well soon. We love his stories and his passion for writing. Just hope there is more to come soon.

To the next instalment as you are one of the best writers get well soon

I can't believe the nit pickers who are complaining about this! It is a great story, and it suggests a few very hot directions. I hope some of the fantasies it suggests come to fruition. Keep up the good work, and don't change a thing.

Hope to see the next chapter soon and hope you are well!

Looking forward to more!

still waiting for more, hurry with the rest of your story.

More please.

Great story...but we need more:)

Please don't forget your promise!

I enjoyed both parts. The offbeat setting for sex-bowling doesn't bother me a bit. Offbeat is more interesting. I was expecting more hot, steamy, slutty sex from Heather, but I could see there was no room for her in this episode. A Part 3 might be needed. Good writing

I haven't bowled since 1954 but all of a sudden bowling sounds mighty good to me... Of course I'd want to be in a league like this one..... ;-)

Could I talk you into a hundred chapters for this story?

Loved both chapters, first one even made me chuckle. Keep Going.

The couple aren't even slightly credible as a brother and sister falling into a love or even lust relationship. I'll never understand why there's this need to take these swapping, orgy-sharing swinger stories and wrap them around supposedly taboo relationships like bro-sis or mom-son or whatever. It takes more than having them call each other "bro" and "little sister" to convince a reader that anything taboo is going on.

I thought the bowling league stuff might be different but it really ends up as a long-ish excuse to get the guy serviced orally in front of social friends. Those friends will no doubt get involved in a free swinging orgy in the next part.

What ever you , dont stop. Your very good at this. Still top 5 on my list

WD.

I tried to respond using the email address you provided. It results in an instant delivery failure message. Please send me another feedback with a good email address and I will respond to you. That's about all the writing I can accomplish at this time.

sorry folks about the delays, but life sucks big time lately.

dezurtdawg

Another excellent story, well done! I've been reading your stories for a long time now, and I love not only descriptions you give during each steamy sex scene, but the development between the characters involved as well. The fact that you do so without being to over the top makes it even better in my opinion. You stated that part 3 probably won't be under the incest category. Does that mean Jason's new relationship with his sister takes a drastic change? I hope not, those two are hot together. Still, I highly look forward to the next installment. Keep writing such awesome stories.

Almost as good as my sister eva and motherfuckinghell

it is in my favorites waiting to read part3 and maybe part 4

RON TEXAS

Good story waiting!g on part 3

Ron

cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

This is a GREAT series. Please keep up the trend. You need you to continue the BRO-SIS relationship. Maybe she could get pregnant? Watching and waiting!

Awesome series keep the relationship going

Ok first 2 very good....when is part 3 rolling out?

Great when will we see pt3

what is the name of part 3

cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

next part please good series

I got curious and found a metric/English conversion site. Is Jason's manhood nine inches soft or nine inches engorged? I found it rather ironic that 9 inches is 228.6mm and 300mm is 11.81 inches! Wouldn't it be cool if 300 would result in 300?

I am really enjoying this story. Its fun and I hope that there will be more.

However, I must be getting old. When Jenny was giving Jason a BlowJoy (I remember a cougar skit on Sat. Night Live where one of the ladies commented "I've never really ever thought of it as a JOB.") in the truck the first thing that came to mind was "Hey, haven't you ever heard of "Distracted Driving?!" Maybe its my damned blood pressure meds.

I'm looking forward to Jason's future big scores.

Thank you for sharing your creative efforts with us.

I don't know if you will see this or not, but if you really wanted an answer you should have given me your e-mail address. But you didn't so this is the best I can do.

Sadly, chapter 3 is still tumbling around inside my writer's block hindered mind. I've got about 6 paragraphs done that I like but have deleted at least three times that as not worthy of being continued. It's a struggle, believe me.

Thanks for asking.

dezurtdawg

More please!

Very great stories. So far I have read most of your stories and would love to see this one continue. Please keep up the good work!

Keep it where it is never go against what's working

You better not start adding other guys

dezurtdawg here!

Hi guys n gals, just a quick note to let all of you know a few things.

First of all, I AM NOT DEAD........YET!

Besides my writer's block, my ticker started acting up a few years back and after way too many trips to the doctor they figured it out and prescribed meds to help with it. (My arteries are clean, just a non-correctable low expulsion factor. IF you know what that means you have my sympathy.) So I bounced from good days to bad days and the doctor helped to exacerbate that problem with constant changes to my meds. Shit!

Finally had a pacemaker implanted and, that, along with different meds seems to have stabilized things for me. So I've been slowly working on my long dormant stories. Unfortunately, while all of this went on I have forgotten my password to get onto my author's page to upload new stories that I have ready. Every time I ask for the reset password code it turns out that it won't work and thus far the help people here have been NO HELP!

So anyway, wish me luck at getting that fixed. I will try to add this note to all of my stories, or at least the last part for those that are series. Take care, all of you, and don't forget to vote!

dezurtdawg

Thank you for another great chapter. I know you posted several months ago but i hope your ticker is doing better. I'm reading more of your stories daily. Thank you again.

Here I thought this was going to be a Strip Bowling League or something where the lanes had to be 'Reserved' for a private party! A little co-ed progressive nudity could throw the bowlers off their games, and bowling with a 7 inch or 9 inch erection might be awkward! Plus, unencumbered 'free range' breasts might effect the lady bowlers' balance. A few ideas from the imaginary Strip Bowling League.

I really like your writing. Please finish part 3.

I Know one Thing for sure ... I have never bowled in That League ..

nice follow-up to part one. makes one appreciate the fine sport of bowling :-)

You said "Probably won't be under the 'Incest' story type" so where can we find part 3???? Its gotta be couples, group sex, sharing or something like that.

More please!

I look forward to chapter 3.

Great story .

Keep up the good work

MUST BE CONTINUED! PLEASE!

These are both in my go to story list to read when I'm looking for a good hot and fun story.

please continue this story

Excellent series. Please write more chapters. one of the best!

Next chapter please.

This was a fun read! Great story! BUT!!! where's the final chapter?!?!?!?

I hope you are going to write more on this story it is a good read

Thank you

Chapter 3 + please. I am enjoying this story a lot. AAAAA+++++

More........I need more.

5 stars on 1 & 2...

Waiting for 3, please?

what happened to part 3

I am curious what happens if one of the women bowls a 300 game? Is she the recipient of a very public pussy eating or does she blow her choice of cock?

Has to be another story with Heather. She and Jenny were pretty chummy when they jockeyed for his load. If Heather is that desperate for his cum, perhaps Jenny will let Heather eat it out of her freshly fucked pussy.

Hawt, Hawt, Hawt!

11/10 '300 Blow Jobs'!!!!!

What will be the title of the new story the third installment I'm looking forward to reading it

Looking forward to Part 3. Maybe have the other female bowlers stopping by to do him and let Jenny do clean up too. Might add some weight gain to the female bowlers for fun.

The premise was growing old near the end. I’d still read a part 3, ut I don’t see one yet & it’s been over a year.

Sometimes quitting while you’re ahead is smart.

Bill S.

I love bowling and I'm pretty good but I have never heard of a league like this. I would love to join one and try for my 300, my best is 299, lol. Great series and I'm looking for the sequels. Thanks for writing it's much appreciated 😊👍

I find your stories quite entertaining because they're so effing unbelievable they make me laugh 😂

good story.... enjoyed the read.

I want more, for sure! Including with sis!

Why is there so much yelling "dont stop" by the woman when being pleasured? Does she really think any remotely sane man would, in the midst of pleasuring his partner when she's so close? Surely there are better, more sensible things to yell. Minor thing but whatever, thought I'd point it out.

As for continuing, honestly I'd just quit while you're ahead. Especially since you mention it likely won't be under the incest heading and that other stuff before it, which likely means you'll fuck it up and it'll become some shitty fuckfest scenario instead of just keeping it purely on the bro and sis. It was a good ride while it lasted, but let's end it here.

Yesssss!! Thank you.

Just stop here, because I just *know* you'll have them fucking other people...

If you write a part 3. What category would it be under.

Jennyfer mériterait un cumshot énorme pour couvrir tout son visage de sperme , elle doit l'avoir pour un selfie dans son téléphone et faire jalouser ses amies envieuses d'un cumshot identique..merci beaucoup

Too bad you never finished it. I could see Heather coming over for a three-way. Or maybe an outright orgy with the whole team at the end of the season. Oh well. Still 5x5