Finding Eve

This is very similar in nature to Finding Rachel, but intended to be a few shades darker. It didn't quite work out as dark as I'd intended. It also could have been in the fetish category. Check the tags.

"'I want to suck cock. I need to suck cock.'" The perfect arc of Lily's eyebrow rising described our whole relationship. Quick rise. Wonderful plateau. Rapid crash. "What exactly did you mean by this?"

I couldn't bear to look at her. I stared fixedly at the ground. I should have known that giving her a key to my apartment while indulging in some of my more exotic fantasies would lead directly here. The problem was, of course, that both the porn and her being there lead to being turned on, and that made me into a complete idiot.

"It's just. Uh. Something they make you say."

"Oh 'they'? The women online? The women in, and let me just get it totally correct here, 'Hypno cumslut cock addict three'?"

I could barely manage to nod in response. My cheeks were on fire. Lily sat down at the computer instead of hovering above it. I had leapt away from it as soon as I was caught, of course. Clearly not quite the correct response.

"Cuck slut. Cock lover. Locked slave. Anal addict? Most of these video series have big numbers after them, and you're not exactly at the start. How long?"

It took a long time for me to respond. "Years. Before we met. I can't help it."

Lily gave me a look of sympathy. For a brief moment, hope burned in my heart. "Pete. I'm not interested in this. At all. I think we're done."

I opened my mouth in protest. It hung there, for a moment - words came slowly. "Could you try?"

Lily practically snorted, her cute nose wrinkled in a way I'd never seen before. "Could I try? Could I try growing a cock for you to suck? Could I try fucking you in the ass with it? Maybe while I fuck someone else on the side too?"

"There are, you know, toys."

"Oh, Peter. This is so, so far beyond anything I will ever, ever do. I'm not judging you. There's nothing really wrong with this. And for what it's worth, I do still love you. It's just, very suddenly, a different love. Very different. You're a different person to who I thought you were. I'm pissed off that you didn't tell me. But the past two years have been fun. Time for us both to move on. Better now than in a few years when you ask me for it."

Numbness crept over me. I felt like screaming, crying, begging. I felt like swearing I wouldn't do it again. I knew I would, though. Every time I got "clean", a few weeks later I was back in. So I just nodded. "I'm sorry. For everything."

"Don't be so dramatic. You can really go down on a woman, that's been worth it alone." She winked, and flashed me a brilliant smile. I exhaled back. "Next time, try being honest. It'll take longer, but you'll find someone". She turned back to the computer, and hooted at a particularly ridiculous kink combination.

That had been 3 years ago. I was very careful about what I revealed publicly, but every time I told a woman what I was really into, she ran a mile. I'd considered going to a gay bar, but the gulf between fantasy and reality was just too broad. I'd never been certain I was really into men. So I maintained the cycle, half-brainwashing myself with smut for weeks, deeper and deeper. Then, satisfied and shamed, purging. Normal, if that exists, for weeks. Then repeating. I was still young, sure. Good job (very good, since I was fully remote), my own place, good looking even, in a slim, delicate way (is this the porn talking?). But it didn't matter. I was, apparently, doomed to be alone.

Which is why it was so surprising when Lily sent me a text.

LILY: So, still into that stuff?

ME: [embarrassed face] yeah

LILY: Still single?

ME: [five embarrassed faces] yeah

LILY: great

ME:?

ME: FU

LILY: Be nice. I have someone you should meet. She won't mind your mind.

I was immediately unwilling to believe. The closest I'd gotten in three years was a woman who watched a video with me, burst out laughing, and left. But I was also painfully alone.

ME: I am so desperate.

LILY: That's the spirit.

LILY: Free Saturday?

Which is how I came to be waiting at four minutes before eight o'clock in a crowded bar. Lily had sent me a description. Anna, tall, red hair, glasses over dark eyes. "Formidable". I had spotted her three minutes earlier and averted my eyes, at which point I had ordered another drink. Fortified, I walked over to her table.

"Hi, are you Anna? I'm Pete." Up close she was radiant. This woman was far out of my league. I made to shake her hand then pulled it back, leaving only a kind of bizarre semi-circular wave. Her hair fell around her face, her large eyes perfectly framed by her dark glasses, drawing me in. She wore a dark green dress and tights, showing off her trim body without revealing much. She flashed a quick, brilliant smile at my question and awkward behaviour.

"Hi Peter. I am Anna. It's great to finally meet you! Were you waiting until exactly the time we were supposed to meet to come over from the bar? I'm all for obedience, but that's a little much."

I felt my face heat. "I wasn't sure it was you?"

She looked around theatrically. "I don't think there's a single other redhead in here. Try again."

"It's. Uh. Been a while. For me."

"Are you nervous because it's been a while? Or are you nervous because I've been talking to Lily?" Her eyes seemed to sparkle in the low light.

I froze. She could mean only one thing. "What have you been talking about? Exactly?"

She patted the seat beside her. I slid down. "So many things. So many. You're really very interesting. She said you're really very clever, but don't get out much. That you're very tender, and attentive, and kind. Not much initiative. You like lots of different things; wine, classic film, cooking, dicks, poetry - you're really a very complex person. So was she right?"

My face was blazing red. Her eyes swallowed me whole, creases at the sides just giving away her enjoyment. I nodded.

"About everything?" She asked.

"Yes". It came out in a croak. I needed another drink.

"Very good." She beamed at me. "What did she tell you about me?"

I wracked my brain for any details. I had only a single scrap: "that we should meet."

"Wow. Such praise. I can see why you came all the way here!" I gave her a sideways look. She giggled. "I'm sorry for teasing you. I really did want to meet you, and not just because of..." She looked from left to right with deep sarcasm, then leaned in to whisper "your little set of wants".

Her breath was hot in my ear. Her closeness alone had me stirring.

"She said you're nice", she continued. "A good partner. It's just you want something she couldn't give. Something most women couldn't, really. But maybe I can. The only question is do you really want it?"

My face was blazing red and I knew by this point I was tenting my pants. "Yes", I said, in the world's smallest voice.

"Words are easy, Peter. You'll have to show me. Maybe. If we get there. Buy a girl a drink, first."

As I drifted back to the bar, I didn't know what to make of Anna, at all. She clearly knew everything about me, and she wasn't rejecting me offhand. Meanwhile, I knew nothing of her beyond the fact she was unbelievably beautiful. That she was interested in me was unbelievable, too. Quite literally.

I came back with two glasses of wine, and spoke before she could. "Did Lily put you up to this as some kind of joke?"

Her eyes narrowed. My skin tightened with gooseflesh. "I am my own woman. I do what I want. If I'm here, it's because I want to be. So one last try - let's chat and see where it goes."

My face flushed again. Internally I put my feelings of insecurity to one side as much as I could. Even if it was some cruel, out-of-character prank from Lily, I needed a night out.

I set about getting to know the woman in front of me, learning why she would deign to descend from heaven to spend time with a mortal such as myself. She told me all about her life, her career in advertising, her friends, her travels abroad. I told her of my job, my collection of classic film, and risked a slight degree of bragging about my culinary prowess.

"Oh you're a chef too? What are you going to make me?" The hint of any future at all with this woman called to me - I'd do anything to help secure it.

"Anything you want", I boasted.

"Anything? Really?"

"Well, anything I can get ingredients for locally. Probably not elephant steaks."

"So if I asked you to make a beef wellington?"

"Yep, done it a bunch. Too much, maybe. It's great."

"Duck a l'orange?"

"Not even that hard, if the meat is good."

"Maybe you really are as good as you say. Well, I'd love to try bouillabaisse some time."

"Any time." I couldn't help but grin at the thought of cooking for her, or even just having an excuse to be near her again.

"Right now?"

"Er. I don't think I have the-"

"Relax!" Her delicate hand draped over my arm. "I'm teasing. But maybe sometime." She grinned back at me. She looked at me for a long time. I wanted to kiss her then. I don't know why I didn't - lingering fear, uncertainty, unwillingness to let the moment end in any way. She seemed to give a tiny sigh. "More wine?"

I leapt to my feet. "Yep. Yep. Just a minute."

I came back shortly, and Anna accepted the wine with thanks. I had already been sipping mine at the bar, eager for a little more courage. We fell smoothly back into conversation - somehow I found talking to her easier than I thought it would be. We told each other more stories of our lives, wants, hopes, dreams. Eventually, it was after midnight.

Anna glanced at her watch. "I can't believe it's so late!" She leaned in to peck me on the cheek. I felt dazed. "Come on," she said, standing. "Walk me home?"

My heart started racing with possibilities. I jumped up eagerly, following her out. We walked together, Anna at almost exactly my height in her heels.

"Do you live nearby?" I asked.

"Close. Don't worry, I'm not going to make you walk ten miles."

"Phew. Maybe I could use the exercise though."

"Hah! You're already as slim as I am. No need to push it. Do you live near?"

"Yeah, about five minutes that way." I gestured along a side street, perpendicular to our current route.

"Glad I'm not taking you too far away. I'm surprised we haven't seen each other around. Maybe we have, and just haven't realised."

"I'd definitely remember you if we had." She beamed at the compliment. "But I work from home, my hobbies are cooking and films. I don't get out a lot."

"Maybe you should! Anyway. This is mine."

We had stopped outside a well-kept set of apartments. I turned to see her staring into my eyes. I leaned in, slowly, ready for a kiss. Our lips met, softly. She kissed back for just a moment, then pushed me away gently. "Why didn't you kiss me before? In the bar?"

"Uh. I wasn't sure you wanted to."

"Maybe you should be a little more assertive. Not too much though."

She looked at me again, expectantly. I took the hint, kissing her harder. My tongue gently found her lips; they parted, her tongue coming to meet mine as they danced softly. My hands roamed her back, pulling her in close. Eventually, the kiss ended. I caught my breath and looked to her again. Then to her apartment. I paused, for a moment, then opened my mouth.

"Don't get any ideas, mister", she interrupted. "Didn't I just say not too much? What kind of girl do you think I am?" Embarrassment overran me while delight sparkled in her eyes.

"Sorry."

She leaned in for a quick kiss. "I'll text you tomorrow. Lily gave me your number, just in case it went well."

My heart leapt. "I really had a great time. I'd love to see you again." I kissed her, gently. "Goodnight Anna."

She walked along the path to her apartment. I watched her for a moment - she turned, just for a half second, and I could see her grin. I couldn't help but grin back. I walked home elated, practically levitating. It really was a short walk to mine, where I had a shower, and promptly fell asleep.

I dreamed of her, that night. Back in the bar, I dreamed that I had kissed her that first time. Our kissing turned deeper. Fiercer. I pawed at her, feeling her warm, soft breasts through her dress, feeling myself ache for her. She kissed me more, and straddled me. I arched to kiss her neck, her collarbone, the pale valley of her breasts. She reached to the bottom of her skirt, there in the bar, revealing the tops of her stockings, inches of pale thigh, and her hard, dripping cock.

I woke suddenly. My own cock was like steel. I felt ashamed of myself; a beautiful evening with an even more beautiful woman and I couldn't stop but bringing my fantasies into it. I tried to sleep, but the dream had taken me. I thought about Anna's soft lips, her breath hot in my ear, her hard cock. I came, quickly. I cleaned up and went back to a deep sleep.

The next day was Sunday, and I felt like a teenager, staring at my phone all day, willing it to buzz. It did. Notifications for this and that and everything that wasn't what I wanted.

It felt like days had passed, but in mid-morning I got The Text.

ANNA: Hey, it's Anna. Wanna go for a hike?

I clutched the phone to my chest, completing my teenage transformation for just a moment. I text her back that, of course, yes, let's go, anywhere. We arranged to meet on a local mountain overlooking the city.

I flew into action, whipping together sandwiches and coffee, stowing them safely in my backpack. We met halfway up the mountain, at a convenient car parking area. I remembered my wonderful lesson on assertiveness; when Anna came up to me, I snaked an arm around her and leaned in for a kiss. She kissed me back, briefly and energetically, before pulling off with a grin.

"Easy, tiger. Save some energy for the walk." I grinned back, and let her lead me by the hand to the trail. We quickly fell into our own rhythm; the trail was tough in places, so we stayed close. I enjoyed helping her over rocks in a stream, holding her up, first by the arm, then by the waist. The closeness itself was wonderful. The feel of her body under her shirt didn't hurt though.

We chatted idly as we climbed. She told me this was her favourite thing to do, every weekend, even in the rain. I told her I didn't do it enough, but could get used to it. She gave me a knowing look, and I couldn't help but smile back. Eventually, we reached the top, city sprawled beneath us. A couple sat near to the head of the trail from the opposite side, backs to us, watching a new bridge being built. We sat and looked at our half of the city. I excitedly pointed out my apartment, the bar, where I had gone to college. She did the same, pointing out a new restaurant she wanted to try, too.

"Oh that reminds me!" I said, excitedly. "I brought sandwiches!"

"I'm expecting a lot, Mr. Chef."

"Please, strictly amateur. Bacon, brie, and cranberry. Can get these anywhere."

"Well, I'll still have one thank you very much." Anna took the proferred sandwich. "You know," she said raising it to her mouth and taking a bite, "I. Uh. Holy fuck, this is amazing."

"You really like it?"

"I love it. How did Lily leave you when you make stuff like this?"

My face burned from the shame of broaching the topic of my sexual preferences, and oddly just as much from the compliment.

"It's simple really. Just need to balance the flavours."

"Whatever you say Pete. Any time you want to see me, just tell me you have these. I don't care if it's two in the morning."

"I'm glad you like them." I was so wrapped up in watching her enjoy I almost forgot to eat my own. When we had finished, I noticed we were alone. And sitting very close.

"Anna," I murmured. She looked at me through half-lidded eyes, and kissed me first. We melted in to one another. Her hands pulled me closer, tightly wound in my shirt. Mine found her back, closing the gap further. Over-eager, I was pushed too far; as my mouth pushed into her I kissed along her neck, to her collarbone. My mind flashed back to last night's dream, and I tried desperately to quash the thoughts. I moved back to her neck. The softest moan into my ear had me seeing stars. I wanted to devour her, to inhale her, to drown in the sea of her hair covering me in its waves. Her hands snaked under my arms, holding my shoulders, pulling me in. I pulled back, just enough to kiss her lips again.

I was panting with need, and I could see she was incandescent. After a moment, we allowed a little space between us. Her hand found mine, and clutched it tightly, before moving to fix her hair. She pulled it high, tying it, exposing the pale neck I had just enjoyed. I had to look away before I was hypnotised.

"Shall we walk more?" She asked.

"I think I'll need a minute."

She grinned. "I'm flattered."

"Don't give me that pretty smile. We're going to take even longer."

"You charmer. I'm sure I can find some cold water around here."

I grinned back, and tried to think non-sexual thoughts. I almost succeeded. After a minute, I gave up, arranged things to not be quite as overt, and risked standing. Anna glanced at my crotch, winked at me, and started walking. I wasn't sure if I was embarrassed or a little proud. I followed her.

We were nearly back to the car when she asked me to her place for a coffee. I floated the rest of the way down.

* * * * *

The coffee was surely cold. We'd been making out like teenagers on her couch for a blissful eternity. Her apartment was all warm colours and dense textures, rugs and red and cushions. Our faces mashed together, obscuring it all. After a while, we surfaced for air, and she put her hand on my chest, gently.

"Before we go any further." My heart soared. My dick throbbed. "We need to talk."

"About... the stuff?"

"Can't you even say it Pete? About your kinks. Your fetishes."

I took a deep breath. "Okay."

"Lily sent me a list of the things you watch. Let me check it's right."

She pulled out her phone. My heart was racing. She scrolled as my heart beat faster. She looked up from her phone. "Jesus, Pete - you're shaking." I looked into her eyes. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't think it was okay. Well, I would. It's my apartment. But you wouldn't. I just want to make sure I know everything. Don't worry. I've already read it once."

I calmed down, fractionally, heartbeat climbing down to a low drone.

"Got it. She made this list right after. Feminization. Chastity. Anal. That's anal for you, to be perfectly clear. Cock worship. Cuckold. Girl dicks. Tut-tut, almost too kinky. That's quite a list."

Words seemed to catch in my throat. I just nodded.

"Anything that shouldn't be on there?"

I shook my head.

"Anything that should be on there? That isn't?"

I did think for a moment. But most of what I'd been into for the longest time fell into those categories. I shook my head again.

"Well, that's enough for now anyway. Last question, do you really want those things? Do you want to be a girl and have your cock locked up? To suck and get fucked, whoever the dick belongs to? Did you want Lily to get fucked by someone else?"

Every word seemed to pound down on me. I couldn't help it - by the end I was rock hard. Mercifully, close as we were, she couldn't tell.

I answered honestly. "I don't know. I really, really don't. Every time I think about it, it gets me fired up. The videos, just the thoughts. It's too much. But... every so often I just don't want to any more. For a few weeks. Then I'm back into it again."

"Maybe you just need to get it out of your system?"

"Maybe. But how would I do that?"

"There are... ways". She smouldered at me. I gulped. "But first. What have you done about this?"