All Comments on 'Holy Shit Ch. 03'

Great story. Well done and very kinky.

Thanks for the good read

I love when a family cums together. Great ending!

Sure beats reading that wimp / slut horse shit that Matt M dribbles out and that fag shoe-no-IQ laps up like a squealing pig.

Once again a story ruined by a stupid ending. First becky says she just wants ron, and then she suddenly jumps her dad. Stick with your story instead of rushing, and throwing in a bunch off crap just because you think that`s what the readers want. The two first parts, and the last part without the ending was enjoyable, and you had humor, good building in the story etc., but the end was just rushed. And most important, lots of the readers, myself included doesn`t want stories with multiple cocks. That ruins every decent story....

adding the dad killed the story you had a real winner up til then now you have shit this deserves a minus 200 and needs a total rewrite

DBRS

Sorry you didn't like my ending. Trust me, it happens that way sometimes. But really, minus 200? WTF! However, I have noticed that you comment on many stories, yet I don't remember ever reading one comment of yours that was positive. Why is that? Perhaps it is because your signature, DBRS, stands for 'Dumb Bastard Rabid Skunk'!

Too bad you don't have the balls to get a member name so each of the author's you trash (that would be ALL of us) could send you some 'feedback' that we would know that you will receive.

To everybody else, sorry, but I just had to vent.

dezurtdawg

That was VERY intense and the way you found a way to bring in the father was nice. Now as to the other ppl that commented the sister fucking the dad was hormones... a steaming hot and horny girl will not tell a guy to go away.

the dad wounld have been best left out of it

The whole story caught my imagination, in the end the father was bound to find out and the way he entered into the story was just right.

thank you for this

To me the ending took all the fun out of the story. You had a good enjoyable story up to that point, but for me that made it corny and unrealistic. Sorry, but I can't understand why swingers and sharing is placed in so many stories here. To me that is the biggest turn off there is. There is no doubt that you are a good writer, and you have some good stories, but I'm not able to enjoy stories with this kind of theme. Sorry.

bringing the dad in was crap you already said he sucks in bed so why would the girls enjoy it

it was good till then but the end made the rest of it bad

I thought the dad had a small dick and was terrible in bed in this story he's nearly as good as rom. FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy shit 1, 2, 3 are a great story, so why spoil it by bringing dad into it.

You could of taken this a stage further with Mandy moving in with them,

Mum Kicking Dad out,

Ron and Mandy becoming real lovers to disquise whats going on to the neighbours.

Mum could have had Rons Baby and so could his sister.

Then Mandy's mum finding out what going on and asking to join in, with Ron doing a sex test to see if she is up to it.

Then they could have lived happily ever after.

adding mandy and the dad ruined it a total waste of time

Hot Really Hot.. I don't think the story was ruined by adding dad but i think it would have been better to get rid of him mom kick him out or something. I was hoping to see Ron and Mandy get married and or pregnant and join the family.. I think that it would have been really hot to have Mom Mandy and Becky all get pregnant by Ron actually. Nothing screams stud like a potent seed and nothing screams woman more than a horny pregnant woman.. I do like all your stories ive read so far

Five Stars!

By far ch. 1 and 2 were great and a nice build up to ch 3. Was real disappointing that you added the small dick, no stamina Dad in ch. 3. Do us all a favor and rewrite ch. 3 and ditch Dad. A better ending would be for Ron to marry Mandy, and have mom and Becky stay with them in an erotic trio, not to mention a little impregnation to one, two or even all three of those cum hungry vixens. Think about it and keep up the writing.

Dad and Becky together ruined the story for me

I agree with the previous posters, adding dad to the mix ruined it. He hasn't sexually satisfied his wife ever apparently, so why the fuck should he get a shot at Becky and Manda? Adding a crappy lover to the mix just for the sake of another taboo failed, the couplings were pretty taboo as it was and were exciting. Three stars, five for the story up to the point he was added.

He couldn't satisfy one woman, he's not going to suddenly be ringing all three of their bells... 'Sides, he screws with the 'harem' theme ya got going.

i read this series while high.

in my mind i used a hillbilly trailer park accent.

pure awesome

I would have given you five stars for this chapter but adding Dad to the mix ruined it! If he couldn't satisfy his wife at the beginning, he shouldn't be able to satisfy his daughter or her friend at the end!

Adding dad ruined it!

That just ruined a good ending, i loved it up to that point thought.

Since so many feel this ending ruin the story, I suggest you guys do what I did. Consider it a 2-part story instead of a 3-part, and try to forget you ever read this chapter. =) Doesn't seem like the author listen to the reviewers anyhow, so I doubt there will ever be a REAL albeit alternate ending, unless someone else wants to write it lol... Anyhow, cheers, and may the "Limpdick Cumwad Daddy" be either rendered impotent for the rest of his life or suffer a Lorena bobbitt accident... =)

I have to agree with other readers and just think of this story as a 2 part story, because you totally just fucked everything up by adding the dad in the mix in this chapter. I don't get it. If the dad couldn't satisfy the mom in the first place how in the hell is he able to fuck the other two women. I'm sorry, but you totally fucked up a really good story. I hope you listen to your readers, and not go and fuck up more stories by adding another male character in a already great mix. Tough love man.

I don't feel it ruined anything, just another angle.

And why wouldn't he have more than usual with 2 hot young babes wanting his cock?

I know it would raise my staff.

You totally ruined it with adding the dad i loved it up till that point...and i think that one of the girls should have gotten pregnant...

Well you know what? You guys can go write your own stories and not "fuck it up".

WOW, if any other people didn't like your story forget them, they don't know how to apreciate a good story and the effort you put in it. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! It's YOUR story and it really is great!! As long as YOU are happy and satisfied with it, that's the important thing. And thanks for such a great story. Keep it up.

Vey xciting story,though a bit too long and the Dad should have not have been in the picture!!!!

Didn't think they would ever thaw dad out but I see it happened . So naughty .

in killing unnecessary male characters (like some bastard dad, who died in a car accident with a whore - that was in a different story though...)

So, why you left dad alive in THIS story? He totally ruined the mood. Or at least, you should keep him in a workplace for another month.

I'm sure you have no problem commenting on how poorly a professional athlete performs, or how bad a musician does on a new song or live performance (even tho you have never played professional sports or performed publicly), but you DO have a problem with readers letting an author know what they think?

OK, Just so we know where you stand

@DesurtDawg

I too have a problem with you bringing Dad in at this point. Mom had gone out of her way to totally deride his size, performance or desire, but he now is a stud second only to Ron? Really?

add unnecessary characters to the plot?

mom, becky and ron was enough, this part ruined the series.

once again he ruined a story, i keep hoping he will get smart and listen to the readers but NO he is too stupid.

Dude fist don't listen to the crap of it not a good story is greatkkeep it going to the other readers that tear it down you do better

Damn good story i hope there will be more of this story to cum.

Not about the story, but the comments? WTF?? what are these little ass-wipes and why are they so concerned about the father?? the poor guy is in a sex rut, and has performance anxieties?? and that makes him worthy of death?? I think you the author know your characters back stories, and these little ass-wipes need to go write their own damn stories, and leave you alone.

I have checked the pages of the know it alls and not a one of them have a story posted. If they know so much why haven't they written and posted here?

If you can do the story better, I think everyone here would welcome it but I highly doubt that you could do it even half as good. Instead of running your mouth, write it for us, or are you just going to keep on hiding behind ANONYMOUS?

Maybe you run your mouth because you're gay? Well I'm Bi so I'll challenge you to write one half as good as this. I'll give you a BJ that will curl your toes if you can do it and it doesn't matter if you're straight or Bi or gay.

.

Fisting, water sports, bi.... take it to the next level with a mom in need.

Good job so far.

Great story. Sorry about them fucktards complaining. They dont know how to write a story.....

I liked that the father is now an active and willing participant since I didn't think he deserved to be cuckolded. I honestly don't see why so many people didn't like it. I've seen FAR worse stories here.

My own stories will likely never be found here. I don't write for this type of audience as my own fetishes can be extreme. I don't need the kind of negativity that is to be found here.

I just skimmed over the old part but I loved the rewrite best

The rewrite was definitely better. The character of the father was already established. I like the way you kept him in character at the end of the rewrite.

WASSA GREAT STORY TILL DAD CAME IN,,,CUMPLETELY RUINED IT,,,,THNX DEWD

I preferred the original ending. Stick with your gut next time.

Who would complain about either ending, i like the last one better then the rewrite... the family that plays together stays together. maybe dad will learn control and give it to mom a little better and enjoy blow jobs and eating at the y....

I liked the original best

I've only read two of your stories Burn Baby Burn an absolutely hall of fame story 5 stars all the way only to be fucked up by the ending and now this one. So much for Beckys undying love for her brother, I'll never let another man fuck me , touch me or whatever. Why in the hell did you ruin it all by bring in their father. For the life of me I can't see your logic. Mum said he's fucking hopeless in bed and Mandy carries on if he's the best fuck she's ever had at the end. I didn't waste my time reading your rewrite. You've shown everyone that you have the ability to write and do it well but your endings are so bloody frustrating....sorry 2 stars for both stories.......

Stop reading after the dad make an entrance

The original ending was much more positive and sexy. Cuckholding is ugly vicious and nasty. A good incest story is about family love. Focus on the love. Love conquers hate and family love is the best love.

Was good till everyone gets involved. Why can't it just be the two siblings maybe mom once in awhile. Please no more like this.

The original ending was a little bland and didn't address dad/mom's issues. But the revised ending is just mean and rude and killed the mood.

guys can you stop bitching about this story your relentless complaining pretty much soured this talented writer from sharing any more stories

I can sure tell the author got pissed about all the complaining, whatever it was about (and no, I'm not going to go back and read old comments to find out, I don't care).

I suppose Dad could have been left out of the story. But you know, if that really happened with Ron and his new harem, Dad would have found out eventually, some way or other. He almost did that morning, remember? So what's going to happen when he does find out? Things could have gone badly when Mom found out, but they didn't. Are you upset that Mom found out? I bet not. So why are you upset that Dad found out, and Dad didn't get any more upset than Mom?

I liked the rewrite. Very good!!

the redo is much better. but dad need to get some blue pills if he wants to keep up with the teens and his wife.

excruciating - extremely painful. Does not fit with a normal sex act. Taking her "cherry" does not count, as it is a one time event and thus, is not repeated.

Is it too difficult to find another phrase to replace "I am cumming on my son/brother/nephew/cousin's cock"? How many times have you used this same comment in each of your various chapters, with the only difference being which of the terms listed above? The exact wording of the phrase may be slightly different at times but the meaning doesn't change. How many girls/women, if any, have you ever heard that used such a phrase?

Think of what you are writing and ask yourself, "Does this really make sense? Would anyone actually speak (or if what someone would be thinking) in this manner"?

You have done a much better job of proofreading than many of your contemporaries and your efforts are not filled with the tons of misspelled words with the exception of the Capitalized non-words that appear during the sex scenes. In addition, the grammatical errors found in submissions be a number of others are much lower. As with some others who have posted articles, those who's submissions are filled with such errors would benefit from reading your works prior to submitting their own efforts to see what a more professional attitude produces.

Never let them second guess you, bro. Good work.

Trust your instincts!!

Cuckold does NOT demand humiliation. A million swingers will tell you that. It's a joy to watch, then assist getting your wife fucked senseless. Why so many want to piss in the face of hubby, making the story castrate his manhood, is beyond me.

Your original ending is vastly superior.

Is the best!!

Original was much better. Keep writing like YOU want it to be, they are always great.

Having read the story which is great, I have read both endings and I like the original better than the re write, for what its worth

Personal opinion, the original ending was better. I wonder what Becky's wedding was like?

Absolutely fucking wonderful, a full blown orgy of hotter than hell sex. Three super fuck crazed cunts to suck and fuck, oh so fabulous. You should use the word cunt more often, it so incredibly fucking hot in a super hot orgy, so decadent and depraved. I absolutely love story and will act it out over and over with my fuck buddies. I so adore cunt and multiple cunts all at the same time, love fucking cunt while eating cunt. The more I get the more I want. Cunt lapping sex maniac Lanc’s U.K.

What were people complaining about in your first ending?? I actually like it better!

Flicking brilliant second version best Fantasy will be in my head for years, 20 Stars!!!

First ending is much better. Complainers should write their own story. (Oh, do I hear the sound of their cars driving away?)

I've got to agree with the last few commenters, the original ending was much better than the rewrite.

I agree I love the original ending do not listen to those who do not know anything about writing, number in my book,good luck with more stories😊

I think that his stories in which the dad/s get/s out of the picture work much better for me.

I do think the redone ending is leagues better. The part where Becky was disappointed in the fathers cock was hilarious. I honestly liked the fact that she could only get release from Rons cock :3 That isn't to say I didn't like the original ending, just wasn't as good, at least to me. This is mainly because I just adored the chemistry between Becky and Ron. I don't dislike the dad at all, he isn't a bad person, I don't think he should suffer or anything like that. I just think Becky and Ron (and Mandy, she deserves the world for opening this whole dynamic up) deserve to be happy with each other. They just fit, you know?

I liked the original ending better. Dad's really get effed over in some of these stories.

I agree with froggytree the original ending was better. Family is always better. Sharing is caring.

5 stars i absolutely loved it

To all that commented that say "how could the dad suddenly go from being rubbish in bed at the beginning to both his Daughter and her friend wanting to have him". Think about it yes he might have been rubbish at first but the prospect of fucking a younger attractive woman can do incredible things to a mans libido and holding on strength.

Each ending was FANTASTIC!!!

Glad you added the alternative endings.

I was worn out.

Thank you for the additional sex.

The Ron/Mandy/Becky threesome was very hot. 🔥 If only you had stopped stood there. But you insisted on bringing Mom back to ruin the mood again. Then you doubled down on the parents by bringing the Dad into the mix. You went from a 5 to a 1 faster than I can snap my fingers. I skipped past all of the daddy bullshit and placed my vote.

OK—I’ve read both endings & I can’t see where any controversy should have occurred. As a matter of fact I liked the second one better! Oh well. Ford now makes multicolored autos.

Bill S.

I liked the second one actually better! But, to each their own

Don't care about the complainers, I enjoyed both versions. It's too bad it ended so soon.

Anony Mous

Don’t know why anyone would complain. Both were great!

I liked the second ending best.

The second ending was far better than the first.

Second ending was better for me.

I liked both, although the original better!

I actually like the original ending best! The family that fucks together stays together! The new ending with dad as a sad emasculated cuckold is unsatisfying and cruel.

FYI, when you google:

"Coming Home" dezurtdawg

The story does *not* come up.

TBH, both endings suck, the original a little less, but both are bad