The Atonement

CHAPTER 3: THE ATONEMENT

Nancy sensed Grace's apprehension. She was accustomed to this, having dealt with everyone who had to perform an atonement. She especially hated seeing women go through a full atonement. She believed that women, particularly young ones, would be more humiliated standing naked before the congregation than men. But if Pastor Parker had determined it was necessary, then It had to be done.

Nancy approached the scared girl cautiously. "How are you feeling, honey," she said gently.

Grace responded by bursting into tears. "I can't do this," she cried.

"I'm not going to lie to you; this is going to be tough, both on your body and your spirit. But it will pass. Your body will heal, and within no time, people will forget.

Grace didn't know which she feared more, what was to happen to her body, or the mortification of appearing in front of everyone, naked and ashamed of her actions.

She was suddenly ready to get this over with. "What do I do now?" she asked.

Nancy pointed to a divider that was set up in the corner of the room. "When you are ready, you go over there and hang your clothes on the hook. You will find a little gown that you can put on to get you outside with a little dignity."

The word 'little' was an accurate term both for the gown and the amount of dignity she would have. It was simply a piece of cloth with a strap to go over her head. There was no place for arms (Nancy would explain later that having arm holes would make it difficult to remove when she was on the cross). Fortunately, there were numerous ties in the back, and with Nancy's help, she was tied up in such a way that neither her side breasts nor her bottom were showing.

Nancy had no other helpful words for Grace, so she up and left, saying that the sexton would be here shortly to take her to the cross.

Grace knew Jim, the Sexton. He had been working at the church forever, doing odd jobs and cleaning up after the youth group had made a mess. Grace now gathered that he was also in charge of setting up atonements. She didn't like the fact that he would be the first person to see her, but then she thought about all the people who would see her on the cross today and figured it didn't make much difference who was first.

It was only five minutes before Jim arrived, but it felt like a whole day. Time was moving very slowly for Grace today. Grace didn't know it, but time would continue to move at a snail's pace for the rest of the morning.

Finally, Jim arrived. He knew who he was meeting, and he was well aware that this would be a particularly difficult morning for the poor girl. He tried to be as upbeat as possible. "Hi Gracie, you ready for this?"

"No, not really," she responded, "but I don't expect I can wait around for everyone to leave for the day."

Jim laughed. "No, I'm afraid that it doesn't work that way. Come with me. I'll let you ride on the lift over to the sanctuary."

Grace didn't know what that meant until she went out the door and saw a tiny truck with a platform at the front. As Grace sat on it, she felt her gown open just a bit. The metal was cold against her bare bottom.

In moments, Jim navigated the truck over to the cross that stood just outside the sanctuary door, stopping when the platform stood right at the front. It was now very clear to Grace what was to happen.

Jim jumped onto the platform and helped Grace to her feet. She needed all the help she could get at this point. She was so nervous she could barely stand.

Jim grabbed two wide straps from the cross and held them up. "Now, these are going on your forearms. We are going to make sure that they are tight because they will help you from getting any long-term injuries. We don't want you breaking that pretty little arm or hurting your wrists, do we?"

Grace let him put the brace-like fixtures on each of her arms. As he promised, they were quite tight, but she didn't complain as she knew it was for her own good.

Once he was done, he said, "Now I am going to tell you every step of this procedure so that there will be no surprises. I need you to do exactly as I say so that no one gets hurt. Understand?"

Grace could barely speak. "Yes, sir," she said quietly.

"Good. First, you are to stand with your back tight against the vertical beam. Get as close as you can."

Grace did as she was told and received praise from him.

"Now put your left arm out beside you and reach for the crossbeam with the back of your hand."

Jim was standing close to her now. She could feel him brush against her thin robe. Suddenly, she heard a click, and when she tried to pull her hand away, she could tell it wasn't going anywhere.

"Ok, now, same thing with the right hand."

When he finished, she was tied to the cross, immobilized.

"Gracie, there are only a couple more steps, and this next one is going to be particularly difficult. I will try to do it as quickly as possible. I am going to reach around you and untie the straps on your gown."

"No, please!" Grace begged, but Jim ignored her. Within seconds, his body was right against her, and he was reaching around her back to undo the straps. As his body pressed against her, she began to feel an arousal inside her. Grace clenched her eyes tightly and tried to calm herself, this was the absolute last thing she wanted to feel at this moment.

Moments later, Jim was stepping back on the platform. Grace felt the cloth walk away with him and found herself standing naked in front of him. She instinctively tried to cover herself but her arms wouldn't move. She brought her left leg up to cover her crotch.

Jim had hopped off the platform and now was standing on the ground just a few feet below her. "Now, this next step is very important. Please do just as I say."

Grace was barely listening and wasn't sure if she even responded. "I am going to slowly move the truck away, and the platform will disappear from under your feet. When it starts to move, you must lift yourself by your arms. When the platform is gone, you will feel a small step under your feet. You can place one or both feet against it to hold yourself up.

And then the metal platform below her started to move. Not wanting her feet to be pulled away, Grace pulled herself up by arms that were already beginning to ache from being tied away from her body. Her feet found the step, and it was then that she experienced how difficult it was going to be to stand on it. The wooden step was very small, and to keep both feet on it, she had to bend her legs out and let a corner of each heel rest against it. Her legs quickly tired, and she pulled herself by her arms to give them a rest. But in no time her arms gave out, and her feet had to find the step again.

Jim stood on the ground, watching her move up and down. "It's called the dance, Gracie. You will be doing it for the rest of the morning, but then you will be done, and you'll be going home."

Jim sat quietly in the truck and stared at her. Grace wasn't sure if he was leering at her naked body or saying a prayer for her. Either way, she just wanted him to leave. No one should be allowed to see her like this. Finally, he forced a concerned smile and drove away.

Once alone on the cross, Grace tried to relax, but her placement was not conducive to comfort. She looked down at her body; her breasts and crotch had once been considered private -- now they were open to anyone. Modesty and decorum were gone and replaced by humiliation and shame.

She looked down at her breasts. She had always wished they were larger. The other girls in school had bigger boobs, and Grace had been jealous of the attention they received. Now, she was fine being smaller. Even her tiny nipples were just a bit comforting.

Her feet were pushing against the tiny step and beginning to hurt badly. She pulled herself up by her outstretched arms but knew her muscles weren't strong enough to keep her up for very long. She was wishing that she had muscles like Daniel when she saw the first of the congregants coming up the walk. She immediately thought of a line from a movie she used to watch as a kid, "This is it! Don't get scared now!"

But she was scared-- really scared. She recognized the older couple. The woman was like a grandmother to her, and her husband always carried little candies in his pocket for the kids. Normally, she would be running up and saying hello to them, but today would be very different. Grace braced herself for what was ahead.

When the elderly couple saw Grace on the cross, she tsked when he asked her why that cute girl was up there.

The woman looked disgusted. "She must have done something very bad. Girls are becoming very promiscuous these days," she said with a sneer that broke Grace's heart.

The man stopped right in front of Grace and looked up at her. "With that cute little body, she must have given some boy a good time!" With that, the lady let out a little laugh, punched her husband's shoulder, and dragged him away. Grace watched as he continued to look back at her naked body as he entered the building.

That was the beginning of people staring at her. As each family walked by, Grace felt worse and worse. Men stopped and stared; women gave her dirty looks and pulled their men away. People called her a slut.

Grace was feeling less and less like a person. She was something to stare at, to laugh at. And on top of all that, her body was hurting. Her arms were sore, and there was a horrible burning in her shoulders. Her legs were tired from trying to push herself up, and her feet hurt as they pressed into the step.

The worst part was seeing her friends go by. The boys gawked while the girls' hands went up over their mouths in shock. What could their friend Grace have done to cause this detestable punishment? The only humor she felt was when Marianne walked by with her hands over her eyes. She had promised not to look and didn't until she walked off the path and smacked into a tree.

All of her friends soon found out about her misdeeds because Pastor Parker, in his weekly Wrath of God sermon, used Grace as an example of how the weak can fail to follow God's word through fornication. "She now stands naked in front of God and man to atone for her abhorrent actions," he yelled at the top of his voice.

With the doors to the sanctuary wide open, Grace could hear every word of his sermon. It was as if the Pastor had been standing in front of her. She thought about the girls in her class and how they were promising to be good so they wouldn't end up like that slut outside hanging on the cross.

The Pastor closed his speech, as he usually did, with the word of God.

"For we know Him who said, 'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,' says the Lord. And again, 'The Lord will judge His people.' It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. Amen"

The crowd repeated the 'Amen' then, bowed their heads and prayed that it would never be them up on that cross.

Grace tuned out the service as the choir began to sing. She tried to take inventory of the parts of her body. She could barely feel her arms or shoulders, her neck was stiff, and her head was so heavy she could barely hold it up. Her hair was matted against her face, wet from both her sweat and tears, and those same tears were falling from her cheeks down over her breasts and stomach. The muscles in her back were barely holding her together.

Because the step was so small and her feet hurt so much, she was taking turns resting them one at a time, letting the other foot hang toward the ground. She could see the grass only a few feet below and wanted so badly to reach it with her toes.

She was stretching her left foot down to try to touch the grass when it happened. Her right foot slipped from the step, and she felt her whole body drop. It was just a couple of inches, but it woke every part of her body. She tried to pull herself up with her arms, but they refused to work. Both feet, now dangling below, hurriedly tried to find the step, but neither would cooperate.

Grace screamed. Or did she? She didn't hear herself. Was her voice no longer working? She opened her mouth but could only whimper.

When she lifted her head, she saw him. At first, she thought it was a ghost or maybe God himself coming to her. But no, when her senses returned to her head, she realized it was Rufus, a nerdy boy from her class. Rufus had snuck out of the service to ogle her naked body much the same way she had gone to Daniel some months earlier.

Grace knew she should be embarrassed, but at this point, she didn't care. "Lift my leg," her voice groaned with a snivel.

Rufus stepped back, surprised that she spoke to him.

"Please," she begged, "put it back on that little piece of wood."

He didn't move for a minute, then cautiously, he stepped toward the naked girl, his face way too close to her privates. She felt him touch her leg gently at first, almost rubbing it. Then he carefully took hold of it and placed it gently back on the step. With every bit of energy she had, she lifted her other foot and let her feet share the piece of wood.

At first, she thought Rufus wasn't going to move away. He was so close she could feel his breath on her. Was he going to touch her...there? Grace braced herself for an attack on her pussy, but then saw him take three steps back. Grace expected him to run back to church, but when she looked up, she saw his phone staring at her. She heard the click click click of his camera, and she knew that her pain and humiliation had been memorialized. Little Rufus would get some serious creds for sharing the pictures around school.

Alone again, Grace felt herself starting to fade away. She forced herself to stay alert enough to keep both feet steady on the little step. Although her legs and hips were burning in pain, she was able to occasionally lift herself enough to ease the pain in her arms and shoulders.

Her eyes were closed when she started to feel movement around her. The service was over, and people were steaming out, ready to get on with their Sunday. She refused to open her eyes. She had no desire to see the stares as they walked by. In her head, she was somewhere else.

Perhaps she had passed out for a moment, for she didn't hear the little truck push the platform up to her feet. Someone was leaning against her body. She opened her eyes but could barely see through the tears and sweat. Strong arms were holding her now. She was nothing more than a rag doll.

She knew it wasn't Jim, the sexton holding her. It was someone bigger, stronger. Was it Daniel?

CHAPTER 4: HEALING

The next thing Grace remembered was waking on a cot that had been set up just for her in Nancy's office. She was covered with a wool blanket that itched against her skin. When her eyes came into focus, she saw Daniel sitting in a folding chair next to her.

"You're awake," he said with a warm smile. "Welcome back."

Grace was confused. She thought she had dreamt about Daniel, but now here he was sitting next to her. "Did you..." she couldn't get more words out.

"I brought you down off the cross, Grace. Jim asked me to help after service. How are you feeling?"

Grace couldn't put words together at first. The pain that was shooting through her body, coupled with the excitement of having Daniel close by, was too much. She lay quietly for what seemed like a long time.

Finally, she carefully lifted her blanket and looked at her body. It was sore but all in one piece. Her eyes looked back to Daniel, suddenly embarrassed by her situation. "I'm naked under here," she whispered.

Daniel jumped up immediately. "Let me leave you to get dressed."

"I don't know if I can get up."

Daniel turned back toward her. "Can you sit?"

He did so, albeit slowly, holding the blanket tight against her.

"Good. Now move your legs off the cot gently." He reached down and helped her move her legs into place on the floor while respecting her modesty. Grace felt a warm sensation spread through her body as his strong hands gently moved her legs. It was a comforting reminder that she was still alive and would soon recover from this ordeal.

Grace pressed her feet against the tile floor. It was good to be back on solid ground. Daniel brought her the clothes that were hanging in the corner, then turned his back while she slipped them on. He then came back and helped her with her shoes.

Later, Daniel drove Grace back to her house and helped her inside. She was tired, and while she wished she could spend more time with him, she wanted nothing more than to go to bed and sleep.

And sleep, she did. She awoke several times crying after nightmares of being back on the atonement cross. When she fully woke, she was surprised to see Daniel sitting next to her, reading one of her books.

"You're still here?" She said groggily, "What time is it?"

"It's just about noon."

Grace looked at him, confused.

Sensing her confusion, he added, "Noon Monday"

"Have you been here the whole time?"

"No, your parents made me leave last night. I came back today, and your mom let me in but said I had to leave the door open," he nodded toward the open door. "Something about not repeating old mistakes."

"You need to get up and start moving, and I'm here to help you," he said after a moment.

Grace was embarrassed as she was still in her clothes from the previous day, but she let him help her up. Once sitting, he massaged and stretched her arms and legs And then helped her to get up on her feet. He walked her around her room and then out into the hall giving her instructions as to how to keep her back and shoulder up.

Grace learned that day that Daniel was a Physical Therapy Assistant. He offered to return and help her get back into shape. They met three times a week, and he not only helped her to get back on her feet again, but he also provided comfort with stories of how he got past some of the emotional issues of his atonement.

Over time, with Daniel's guidance, her body became stronger than it had ever been before. She was also able to put aside the shame and humiliation that had been hoisted upon her. She even got past the hurt from the pictures that Rufus had spread around the school.

Grace cherished every moment spent with Daniel and fervently prayed each night that their relationship would blossom into something more profound.

She was thrilled when her prayers were answered.

EPILOGUE

Two years later, Grace and Daniel were still together. Against her parents' wishes, Grace had moved into his apartment. They still went to church but had left The Sacred Path Fellowship Church and joined the Compassionate Path Community, where they were married in an outdoor ceremony. On their kitchen wall was a plaque with the same bible verse that hung over the door of their new sanctuary:

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

- Jeremiah 29:11

As Daniel gently massaged her pregnant belly, Grace pushed aside thoughts of the punishment she had endured long ago. Instead, her mind focused on how she would raise her little girl with the dignity and respect that she believed God intended for all His children.